Doctors at a medical convention at the University of Georgia were called to the home of Herman and Irene Bowden to meet with the woman there who had just finished an 11 month pregnancy and given birth to a 17 pound daughter with two shiny new teeth. The daughter? Helan Carle Bowden. No one knows why Adele Thrasher Bowden decided to spell the “Helan” so differently, but to the end of her life Helan would say…that’s Helan  with an “a” not an “e”. The “Carle” was for her father Carl Micajah Bowden.  After such a nightmare pregnancy and birth,  Adele knew she would have no more children, so this one would be given the boy’s name they had chosen.

The family moved to Atlanta for a short time and when the Depression did not seem to be lessening they moved back to Clarke county to be near family. Mother told many stories of growing up in the country, just across the cotton field from the man who would eventually be her husband. He made the major error of making fun of her on the school bus when she was in the first grade, by telling everyone that Helan Bowden wore her sashes too high. His obvious lack of fashion sense did not keep she and his sister, Lois, from being close friends. Nor did it keep he and his brother and a few other relatives from being gentlemanly in allowing Helan and Lois to go up the ladder first when they chose to jump off the chicken house roof. Neither girl was foolish enough to allow this opportunity for a free peek.

Mama was always so proud that she was given the main roll in the school play in the first grade because she was the only female student who could memorize three pages of dialogue….at six.

My childhood was filled with stories of her childhood. I can probably repeat most of them as completely as she did. I heard stories of them bringing water  from the creek to the house to heat for washing. There had been an old Indian camping place near that creek, Carl once brought her a stone ax, with half the handle and the head held on by rotting leather ties. Many years later it was examined by archeologists who proclaimed it to be much older than the Cherokee or Creek. They seemed to think possibly the Indians themselves had found it somewhere and used it for their own purposes. It sat on the bookcase in Mother’s house until just weeks before she passed away.

When she reached 13 the family moved into Athens, Georgia. Shortly after World War Two began and continued until she graduated on D-Day.  Needless to say most of her dates were with service men, especially those at the Naval Pre-Flight  School.  She learned to love flying and would take any chance to go up with one of the pilots.

Her next favorite passion was the movies…..she saw every single one that came out during the war years, and kept up with as many as she could after that. We always laughed that if we wanted to know any single fact about any Movie star, mama was the one to call. That was true until the very last.

Her passion for reading was unmatched by any soul I ever knew. And she retained all of it…everything she ever read. She worked as a court reporter and as a secretary in the office of John Barrow, who later became a rather well known judge in Athens. He hired her because he said she was one of the most well spoken applicants he had ever had. She always said there was no excuse to ever stop learning. Mama believed in educating yourself. It was her passion.

Helan always said she thought she looked like a Russian peasant. We thought she looked like Donna Reed. And Daddy looked like Andy Griffith. We thought we had the perfect pair.

When Aubrey Tolbert came home from the war he saw her walking down the street with a friend. He asked the man he was with who the pretty girl was. His friend, surprised he didn’t recognize a woman he had grown up with, told him ..that’s Helan Bowden. Daddy said “ THAT’s the woman I’m going to marry.” It took him a bit longer to convince her….he was a bit of a rake. But eventually he did and they stayed together until Daddy passed away three years ago 59 years. Mama gave up then. She said her work was done, and she began to fail.  A little over a month short of two years she joined him, leaving us with wonderful memories of her playfulness and her love of family. She always said she never really knew what she was doing as a parent, but she sure put on a good act. Maybe it was all those years of movies.