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    Cyndy
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    Argghh!

    Wednesday, December 31, 2008, 8:48 AM [General]

    My Grandmother has Alzheimer's.  She has been bedridden for several years now and doesn't know anyone.  She is at home and my aunt has been "taking care of her."   Mostly, my aunt has been going thru Grandma's money.  Anyway, about 20 years ago, my Grandma asked me what I wanted out of the house when she was gone.  She has 3 old photos of my 2 great-grandmother's and one of my great-great grandmother.  These are large photos in the curved glass oval frames.  My aunt didn't want her to let me have them, actually told her that I didn't want the pictures, I just wanted the frames because they were antique.   My dad just went to visit Grandma and my cousin's name (aunt's daughter) was written on a paper with those pictures!   I don't understand how when Grandma was in her right mind and said I could have them that my aunt who has power of attorney can give them away when Grandma can't make a decision.  I won't fight over them but I am very disappointed.  I'm the only one in the family who is into the genealogy and has done the research, which I send to everyone when I make a break through.  My aunt is such a witch.

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    Cyndy,



    Sorry to hear your aunt is acting this way. I've heard many similar stories from my friends and in my online groups. Don't feel alone! It's too bad your grandmother didn't make out a will or similar document detailing who she was leaving items to.

    Vickie
    January 1, 2009
    2:57 PM

    Cyndy,



    Sorry to hear that. I went thru something similar with an old photo album.



    Is it possible to talk directly to your cousin? If not, get some good photos of them while you can still see them while visiting.

    Judy
    January 2, 2009
    7:28 PM

    Cyndy,



    I went through almost the same thing. My grandmother was still alive and able to make decisions. My grandmother wanted me to have two family pictures they were in oval frames with the curved glass also. My cousin thought the frames were worth money and said it wasn't fair. She threw a tantrum until my grandmother gave in. I offered let her have all frames if she thought they were worth money I just wanted the photos. No deal. I was so upset and it really hurt my grandmother because she wanted me to have them but didn't want any problems.

    My solution was to get a neutral party to negotiate with my cousin to let me have a copy made of the picture. She eventually did.

    You might try having someone talk to your aunt and see if you can at least get a copy made. I had mine done at a local photographer and it turned out just fine.



    Best wishes and happy digging.

    Lisa
    January 5, 2009
    1:38 PM

    Aww, Cyndy--



    My heart goes out to you, dear. My sweet Mother also has Alzheimer's as well as other health problems and is currently living at the Altenheim. Her memory is not quite gone and she does at least recognize her children--my brother, sister and myself--but she can't keep the grandkids straight at this point.



    Unfortunate for you that your Aunt took the low road-nae, ye juist take the High Road and ask if you can make a copy of the photos, like the other poster suggested.



    Then recite this three times while you think of your Aunt:



    "May we love those who love us.

    May those who love us, love us.

    And for those who don't love us,

    may the Lord twist their ankles,

    so we kin tell the difference."

    Madehlinne
    January 7, 2009
    2:57 AM